Igbozue Connecticut USA Honors Their Wives in a Family Night Event

On December 13, 2013, Igbozue Connecticut USA held an all night family party. It was an opportunity for the Igbozue men to thank their wives. There were many reasons for these men to do so. It is the women who provided, among other good deeds throughout the unfolding year, hospitable homes when members of the group host monthly meetings.

Igbozue family night is an annual event. This particular event was surprisingly different from earlier ones in three main ways: the event-threatening snow, the big fat cake from ‘IWAC’ and the win or lose anxiety of the raffle.

Igbozue Connecticut USA is a non for profit organization that encourages social interaction among the Igbos- one of the major ethnic groups in Nigeria.

The men presented their token gifts and the women received them in full admiration. In an all out display of gratitude, the women danced glowingly in a way that only Igbo men would understand.

IWAC, Igbo Women Association of Connecticut which is the female counterpart of Igbozue Connecticut, had something under wraps for one of their members who had retired and is about to move. They wanted to honor her with a gift. Halfway through the party, it was still a toss-up if the recipient will show up.

Then bingo, she showed up. The dancing crowd went wilder as the Dj played ‘Udor Akpuenyi’ (one cannot pull an elephant on a leash) by Sunny Bobo.

Not familiar with the rhythm of the music, children danced exuberantly in missteps while the oldies danced in measured steps to the beat and lyrics.

The Honoree, Professor Omaa Chukwurah, is a founding member of IWAC. Many misty eyes and cracked voices emerged as peers gave testimonies and recounted their interactions with her. Then it was time to devour the cake.

The indefatigable DJ, Joe Anyafulu had the music right. He delivered soul and highlife music that made guests dance most of the night.

Attendees said that it was a party to remember. Men bantered and laughed heartily while women held conversation and smiled. What started as a shaky night later became one of the organizations most memorable Christmas events.

The raffle generated lots of excitement. There were five winners. Mrs. Eneh won the first prize of a Godiva gift basket containing gourmet chocolate bar and glass tea cups. Mrs. Lolo Anna Okonkwo won a Christmas wreath. The Oredo family from Stamford won a set of Wild-Eye table knives and spoons and the fourth prize, ‘How Broccoli Head Lost Thirty Pounds’, went to Mrs. Pat Anekwe.

The event took place at the executive-inn and suite in Meriden Connecticut. It began at 8 pm with the breaking of the kola nuts, ended at 12.30 A.M with a toast of Champaign. Members came in from different places within the state of Connecticut. A guest came from as far as Stamford. My spouse and I came from Sandy Hook.

Food and drink were plentiful. On the dinner tables were the usual suspects of goat meat, bitter leaf soup, fried plantain, jollof rice, moi-moi, roasted fish, chicken and rice. There was salad for the health-conscious attendees.

The President of the association, Mr. Polycarp Okeke was thankful to participants and praised them for supporting the group despite the bad weather and he reminded guests to drive home safely.

Keeping The House Rules When Adult Children Return To The Blended Family

Even adult children returning home to a blended family benefit from some rules and boundaries. Adult stepchildren graduating from college today face a tough job market in which to succeed. College kids are returning home, for a place to stay until they can launch their careers. Even tougher, are the kids who return to a blended family, one with a new step parent and step siblings.

Boundaries and rules established and agreed upon, before adult stepchildren return to the nest, are essential for the successful blended family. Adult stepchildren can function well living at home with stepparents when presented with clear expectations.

Focus on the positive in your blended family
Focus on the positive when adult children ask to return home. Adult children, in most cases, don’t want to ask biological parents if they can move in with a stepfamily, and you might consider it a compliment to your successful remarriage when they do. Clearly, your adult child feels comfortable living with the stepparent, and that is flattering. Stepmom or stepdad needs to acknowledge the compliment, and make sure to let the adult stepchild know you are eager to spend more time with him.

As well, after the biological parent and stepparent agree upon a set of rules and boundaries, biological parents should lead a discussion about them with the adult stepchild in advance of the move-in date. Adult stepchildren are often willing to comply with rules when they know biological parents and stepparents are happy to have them around.

Rules and boundaries should be reasonable and consistent
Adult stepchildren are, technically, adults, and should be treated as such. However, the adult stepchild who has returned home and is dependent upon the biological parent and stepmom or stepdad, should obey and respect parental authority. Rules and boundaries agreed upon in advance could include guidelines for
o dining and laundry
o a discussion of career plans
o an agreement to actively search and find a job by within a set period
o housekeeping chores
o an agreement to pay rent after six months
o an agreement to a raise in rent after 12 months
o guidelines for guests
o an expectation of quiet after a designated time or else a curfew will be established
o and an expectation that adults will be treated with respect.

Other discussion topics could include the use of an auto as well as guidelines for gas, insurance, and upkeep; smoking, drinking and girlfriend or boyfriend visits; as well as private time for parent and stepparent. Adult stepchildren who bend or even break established rules should be held accountable with another scheduled family meeting.

Road to independence should be paved with love and encouragement for your adult child
Adult stepchildren moving home is not unusual in light of the job market, and he or she should not be made to feel as if they have failed at adulthood. This won’t help a stepchild and it certainly won’t bode well for the blended family. Once rules and boundaries have been agreed upon in a stepfamily, welcome and encourage your adult stepchild into the remarriage. Make sure he spends individual time with his biological parent and offer positive support in his job search.

Stepchildren, especially adult stepchildren, need their own space, and should be afforded privacy and respect of their belongings by other stepkids. Adult stepchildren who return to the home may need extra help on the road to independence; stepmoms and stepdads who are part of that journey pave the way to a smooth stepfamily existence.

Adult stepchildren who return home are an unfortunate result of the economic downturn, but it doesn’t have to be a miserable experience. Biological and stepparents have to discuss and agree upon rules, before the adult stepchild moves in. An adult stepchild is usually amenable to parental guidelines when the discussion is led by the biological parent and assisted by the stepparent.

Adult children who return home to a blended family can find success and independence within a remarriage when expectations are clear and rules are well planned.

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How Smoking Affects Your Family

It is a known fact that smoking is extremely dangerous to your health. Health professionals and government officials have taken various measures in order to educate the public of the different unfavorable effects of smoking to our health. Yet, there are millions of people, who are addicted to their smoking habit. Smoking not only affects the smoker, but also the people around them especially your family. Here are just some ways on how your smoking habit can affect your family.

Increase in Health Risks

One of the ways how smoking affects your family is through their health. While it is true that smokers increase their risk of developing a variety of illnesses and diseases, this increase in health risk is not only confined to them and it extends to the rest of your family members. Studies have shown that second-hand smokers have an even higher risk of developing cancer and other health ailments compared to the smokers themselves. The term second-hand smokers refer to people who are exposed to the smoke emitted by smokers and their cigarettes. The reason why they are at a higher risk is that compared to smokers, the smoke that they inhale is not filtered. And because most of the harmful chemicals and carcinogens are found in the cigarette smoke, prolonged exposure to the smoke is just like making your entire family smoke a cigarette with the filter torn out.

Negative Influence to Your Children

Another way how smoking affects your family is by creating a negative influence to your children. As they grow up, your children look up to you and subconsciously model their behavior to mimic their parents. In fact, studies have shown that children that have taken up a smoking habit during their teenage years are those coming from families where one or both of the parents smoke as well. Even though government officials and school administrators do aggressive efforts to discourage teenagers from starting a smoking habit, seeing their parents smoke can be a whole lot more influential and a factor for them to actually become smokers themselves.

Depletion of the Family Income

With the nations across the world still feeling the effects of the financial crisis that struck them, many families are still coping in stretching the family budget. Smokers unknowingly spend hundreds of dollars each month in order to satisfy their habit by purchasing cigarettes, lowering the household income which is used to purchase basic commodities, pay your children’s tuition fees and your mortgage payments. This depletion of the family income can oftentimes result in tension between you and your spouse regarding financial matters, which can eventually lead to constant arguments, the latter having a psychological effect on your children in the long run.

As you can see, the effects of smoking can be far reaching. Being a parent, you would want to make sure that you are able to keep your family safe, protected and their needs supported. Quitting your smoking habit would not only benefit your health. It would also ensure that your family would remain happy, harmonious and healthy.

Hindu God Ganesh’s Family

Elephant-headed Ganesh, Hindu’s most renowned God, is a study in contrast. He is held in awe and reverence as a strong force who removes barriers in people’s lives. But Ganesha also summons a very down-to-earth affection. Some of this warmth originates from his direct involvement in our everyday lives and from the mythological tales about him and his family. The legends about Ganesha depict him as a committed son and a affectionate brother.

There’s no Hindu grandmother who doesn’t love reciting the story of Ganesh’s parentage and birth. Many versions abound, but here’s the popular one. Officially, Ganpati’s father is Lord Shiva the Destroyer, one of the holy trinity in the Hindu pantheon, a rather fearsome figure with matted locks and an ash-smeared body who spends eons meditating in the Himalayas. Parvati, his divine wife, presides over all of creation. Without her, the earth would be barren and perennially cold. During her husband’s extended absence, Parvati created a young boy for herself from a dollop of clay – none other than Ganesha. When Shiva, incognizant of his ‘son’s’ existence, returned back, Ganesh refused him from access to Parvati, who was bathing and had directed her son to guard against intruders. Shiv, whose rage could shatter the universe, chopped off the child’s head. When he realized his mistake, he replaced the boy’s head with that of an elephant. Shiva also granted Ganesha a boon – that he would be worshipped before the start of any earthly enterprise. Notwithstanding this dramatic event in childhood, Ganesh grew up to be regarded as the epitome of filial devotion.

Hindu mythology has few stories about Ganesh and his younger brother, Karthikeya. Where Ganesh is revered all over India, Karthikeya’s presence is predominant in India’s southern state of Tamil Nadu, where he is also known as Murugan, Subramanya or Arumugham. You couldn’t find two more contrasting personalities. Ganesh is comfortably tubby, warm, and patience personified; brother Karthikeya is all radiant energy and an impulsive lad. Ganesha has the lowly mouse as his vehicle while Karthikeya prefers the flashy peacock.

Like many Hindu sagas, stories of the Ganesh-Kartikeya interactions are possessed of a innocent simplicity, yet imbued with lessons for human race. One time, a mango infused with divine knowledge was brought to Mount Kailas in the Himalayas, where Shiva and Parvati hold court. Since only one individual could consume the fruit, a competition was suggested between their two sons – whosoever circumambulated the earth thrice and returned first would win the mango. Confident that his peacock would outrace Ganesha’s mouse, Kartikeya went off into space. Ganesha, on the other hand, simply folded his hands in prayer and walked around his seated parents, returning to his starting point ahead of Kartikeya. His reasoning? Shiva and Parvati contain the world within them; walking around his parents is equivalent to actually going around the earth. He won the mango, but then magnanimously offered it to his sulking brother.

There are contradictory views regarding the marital status of Ganesha. Some regions of India worships Ganesha as a bachelor while the rest of India worships him along with his two consorts. Ganesha is thought to be married to Siddhi (spiritual strength) and Buddhi (intellect) – the daughters of Brahma the Creator – one of the holy trinity in the Hindu pantheon. This is popularly taken to mean that where Ganesh is present, intellectual acumen and spirituality will follow. Legend also has it that Kartikeya grew up to marry Valli, a tribal maiden and Devayani, the daughter of Indra, the wind god. However, he is widely worshipped as a child-god possessed of a warrior’s skills, one who protects his devotees against all harm.